I hate myself today. So much. It's not the angsty kind. I'm so incredibly disgusted about how I've been acting, what I've been saying, what I've let influence me, worst how I've been thinking.....I'm so overwhelmed at my brokenness. Bad word. Filth. Brokenness to me implies intense humility. Broken before the cross. Filth is different and a lot more applicable. On Wednesday I realized I really deeply wanted to just pray and read my bible and I realized I haven't done that in quite a while. I've been so distracted. By garbage. I've felt this astonishment before. How do I throw this off? How will I be forgiven?
Around easter I wrote and posted this on my old blog and I was reading it just now and I love it. I think I am getting in my own way. I also think writing is coming back to me. Be patient.
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