Best. Show. Ever.
At first I felt like an outsider because a) I often feel that way and b) A lot of the fans there were the age I was when I discovered fall out boy. (For those of you keeping score at home, I just did some math and realized I discovered fall out boy when I was 11. So I suppose that's a bit of an exaggeration. Most of the kids looked about 15.) I, naturally, made fun of the kids with bright hair and holes in their pants. Having done the whole purple hair and fishnet sleeves and thick wristbands and so much eyeliner thing, I felt safe to mock them. They were here because they were angsty and lame but I was here because I like the music. I felt really superior. It's a bit nauseating. After an hour and a half of waiting in line with them, I started feeling self-conscious. I saw my reflection in the window, and I honestly felt like a soccer mom in my button up shirt and practical shoes. Even though I am only a few years older than those kids. I shouldn't feel so very old. But I did. And I felt super awkward. What was I thinking even going to this show? This isn't my crowd.
Normally at a concert I become very concerned with my body movement. Should I be jumping? Is it ok to do this with my hands? I'M DOING EVERYTHING WRONG AREN'T I? I felt that way again with 21 Pilots and a bit during Panic!'s set, but by the time fall out boy came on I didn't care anymore. I moved because I wanted to and I just felt the music. I moved my arms because I wanted to move my arms. I did what felt right for the music and how I felt. And I joined a ton of other people in singing along. I couldn't even hear myself and it didn't matter because I was so deep in the songs. I knew all of the words in an intimate way. They were singing songs that helped me through my life. When I say that I listened to fall out boy during my emo phase, I mean to say that their music brought me through really hard times. I genuinely cried a little when they played Thriller (No, not that Thriller).
Pete Wentz gave this speech (Essentially,"We love you guys because you are freaks. Not in spite of, because.") and it made me feel better about life lately, specifically me not fitting in with certain people. I realized I don't need to fit in with them. I'm different than them and that is a good thing and that's me. And they aren't like me and that's great because that is them. Maybe I'm weird, and maybe I should have outgrown being/feeling like a freak but I know 4 guys and a whole bunch of fans who are freaky just like me.
I have never felt so at home at a concert. I felt so connected. They were singing my songs. The songs that I used to write in my journals and listen to when I felt like the only person in the world. And they wrote them and sang them because they felt that way too. And although when I was waiting in line I made fun of all the young kids who were there, I now feel that we have something in common. I wish them all the good things in life. I talked to a guy whose hair I made fun of extensively. He was kind and funny. I was a jerk to make fun of his hair. It was pretty stupid of me to see a band I started loving because I felt like an outcast, and judge other people for being different.
Leading up to the show I kept thinking I GET TO SEE PANIC AT THE DISCO LIVE THEY ARE MY FAVORITE AAAAAHHHHH, literally to the point that at times I forgot Fall Out Boy was even playing. But, by far, they were the band that I enjoyed the most. There was a touch of nostalgia and a lot of hope for me in the songs that they played. i remembered listening to and singing their songs, feeling low. I remembered that things got better. I realized that things might be tough now but they will get better again. As much as I loved feeling the bass in my chest from 21 pilots and fangirling over panic! (They played my ringtone! Have I mentioned recently that they are my favorite band?!), fall out boy felt like old friends to me.
I screamed and danced and sang so much. Every time FOB finished a song I felt like I was ready to drop because I was exhausted but then they started another and I got lost in the music. I didn't want them to ever stop. But eventually their set ended. My throat was full of goop, my ears were ringing, and my feet were sore. I guzzled an iced tea and it was the most satisfying drink of my life. And now I am here.
I got some great pictures, I got some cool merch (NEW FAVORITE TSHIRT), and I got to see 2 of my favorite bands, complete with a life lesson or two. My personal history aside, all three bands really put on a great show and I am so, so happy. I feel very lucky.
Best.
Show.
Ever.
